How to Be More Decisive by Mastering Self-Regulation
Decisiveness isn’t just about knowing what you want and making a choice. It’s about how you make that choice—what state you’re in when you’re making it, and whether that state is actually working for you or against you.
In other words, if you want to be more decisive, you have to become a better self-regulator.
What is Self-Regulation?
Self-regulation is the ability to check in with yourself—mentally, emotionally, and physically—and adjust accordingly before making a decision.
Because let’s be real: some of your hardest decision-making moments probably happen when you're overwhelmed, anxious, or just straight-up exhausted.
And yet, when we struggle with a decision, our instinct is usually to keep pushing forward—forcing ourselves to “figure it out” while we’re in a stressed or scattered state.
Spoiler alert: that never makes decisions easier.
Step One: Check Your State
Before trying to power through a decision, ask yourself:
Physically – Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I physically tense or uncomfortable?
Mentally – Am I overwhelmed? Distracted? Focused on worst-case scenarios?
Emotionally – Am I anxious? Frustrated? Stressed?
Sometimes, simply acknowledging your state is enough to give you clarity. Other times, you’ll realize: Oh. Maybe this isn’t the best time to make this decision.
Step Two: Decide How to Regulate
If your state isn’t conducive to decision-making, the next step is self-regulation.
This doesn’t mean meditating for 45 minutes before choosing a lunch option. It means having tools you can use in real-time to get yourself into a more grounded state.
Some options:
For physical stress: Move. Stretch. Take deep breaths. Stand up. Drink water.
For mental fog: Take a short break. Write down your thoughts. Get some fresh air.
For emotional overwhelm: Name the emotion. Validate it. Give yourself space to feel it before you decide.
Step Three: Time the Decision Wisely
Sometimes, you have the luxury of not making a decision in the moment. And if your current state isn’t helpful, it’s okay to say:
"I’m deciding that now is not the time for this decision."
But what if the decision has to be made now? This is where having go-to regulation tools is key. If you only have 10 minutes, what’s one thing you know helps you reset? A few deep breaths? A quick walk? A reframe of your current thinking?
Why This Makes You More Decisive
Decisiveness isn’t about making perfect decisions all the time. It’s about making decisions in a way that works for you.
If you’re always deciding from a place of stress, exhaustion, or fear, you’ll keep second-guessing, overthinking, and making choices that don’t actually align with what you really want.
When you self-regulate, you set yourself up to make decisions you can trust.
So try this out this week: before you make a decision—big or small—pause and check in with yourself. Notice what state you’re in, and see what happens when you regulate before you decide.
And if you want help making these changes in your decision-making habits, you know where to find me. Let’s work together to make decisions easier—not harder.
Wait, I need more help!
Is it time to work together? I help overthinking high-achievers trust their choices.
Whether you need help being more decisive, taking up more space in your own life, or truly figuring out what you want so you can take action on it — coaching with me gives you guidance, accountability and an expert in your corner.
We’ll use science-backed tools and proven strategies to change mental and physical habits, decrease your baseline overwhelm, and grow your self-trust to the point that you make clear, conscious, self-honoring decisions with ease, daily.
It starts — naturally — with some decisive action.
Book your no-strings Free Consultation where we’ll talk like humans, break down your goals, identify a path forward, and figure out if we’re a fit to work together.
